"Inclusion on Purpose" Matters Because We're Hard-Wired to find Belonging
Brené Brown with Ruchika Tulshyan on Inclusion on Purpose
Savvy readers may notice we’re on a short spree of Brené posts. Well, in this episode she shares that she’s embarking on a short sabbatical. And I am a major Brené fangirl so this [continuing spree] is a tribute in support of her break.
In this episode of Dare to Lead, Brené interviews Ruchika Tulshyan, a journalist, inclusion strategist, and author of Inclusion on Purpose: An Intersectional Approach to Creating a Culture of Belonging at Work. Ruchika writes from the perspective of “being different everywhere [she’s] gone,” and shares the experience that even at her own book launch, both her first and last names were misspelled – she says about it: “I get wanting to have a name on a spine that doesn’t make people shake their head right away before they even give you a chance. That’s what the whole book is about, I think.”
On building Inclusion on Purpose:
”Toxic corporate culture is the strongest predictor of attrition.” [credited to findings by Don and Charlie Sull and the T-Sloan Management Review]
Top descriptors of a Toxic Culture:
Disrespectful
Non-inclusive
Unethical
Cut-throat
Abusive
We have just incontrovertible, empirical evidence that the lack of a feeling of belonging is driving people to leave their jobs. And that’s because we’re neuro-biologically hard-wired for belonging, and in the absence of love and belonging, there is always suffering, and it’s very rare that our lack of a sense of belonging is driven - especially in organizations and our work life - by big, obvious affronts. The lack of a sense of belonging is death by a thousand paper cuts.
It is absolutely impossible to reach and create any sort of sense of belonging if people with privilege and power don’t take personal responsibility for it.
→ It’s not just about companies, but for leaders: “What do you do? What are you doing to understand the issues? Are you reading? Are you listening? Are you asking questions? Are you getting out of the way?”
In almost every interaction, you have an opportunity to choose kindness, you have an opportunity to invite other people, you have an opportunity to be human, you have an opportunity to be a better listener, to be more empathetic, and that is what drives organizational culture.
The first time that the average American interacts with someone meaningfully, with someone who’s different than them, is in the workplace.
Maybe we weren’t given the tools to, for example, ask people what their pronouns are…maybe it makes us uncomfortable and we don’t have the tools to deal with that discomfort.
I really wanted to give language to what some of the hardest parts of this work is: It’s defensiveness, it’s growing from mistakes, it’s knowing that you’re going to make mistakes and being okay to be uncomfortable.
Bridge Framework for creating pattern change:
B - Be uncomfortable
R - Reflect on what you don’t know
I - Invite feedback
D - Defensiveness doesn’t help
G - Grow from your mistakes
E - Expect that change takes time
What inclusion really looks like is you use your platform to give another person a platform, and then you walk away, you let them shine.
Interrupt the interrupters. Anyone can interrupt people who interrupt women of color when they speak at a meeting. Some ways to do this politely are to say, “I’m sorry, I don’t think she’s finished,” or, “You know what, I’d really like to hear her point of view first. Would you mind waiting your turn? Could you please not interrupt the current speaker?”
And,
You’re going to get rejections, you’re going to get people who don’t understand you and don’t understand your vision, and you have got to keep going.
What do you think? How do you foster Inclusion on Purpose?
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